Monday, April 4, 2011

Art is Art... What is Art?

But What is that exactly?  I am beginning to wonder...

Anyone can be an artist right-- even a monkey.  Is there a level of expertise that needs to be attained-- does rudimentary craft work?

Abstract art is especially suspect.  Any linear, drippy, goopey, sloshy, brush ramble could fall in this category.

These days even realism can be masterbated by many an "artist".  All you need is a handy dandy computer and a printer to boot-- your in.

You could rub shit on the wall and that would be art-- HARD difficult art.

Shock art might be two nuns screwing with dildos.  Bad I know-- but I'm sure its been done.

Then there is found object art.  Find any damn thing you can and glue it, weld it, fuck it together and-- there!  you got art.

Print making I will never understand-- I never took that class.  It looked like a real pain in the ass.

Sculpture-- this is a good one.  Anything tall and wide could be considered a great sculpture.  It doesn't matter what the hell it is-- take it to a powder-coater, Turn that shit red-- and wallah SCULPTURE. Circles, squares, rectangles and cows are especially popular.

Guache-- enough said.

Watercolor-- for those over 50 that want to avoid knitting.

Street Art.  Not for the Street anymore.  For the Galleries.  If you are not a street artist, don't apply.  We don't want your portfolio we want your Krylon. Also in this case please only use digital print outs and stencils.  Also also try to plagiarize everyone's work you can.  This adds to the result.

Installation.  Install anything, the randomer the better. The more people have no clue what the fuck you are doing, the better off you will be.  You might try filling up a room full of electric eels and then turning the lights off.  Call it Bangers and Mash.  You will be an instant hit.

Portraits.  Only do this if demented faces are your thing.  Otherwise you will get no play.  Here is the formula.  Make half a face, scribble over the parts that are hard to paint, Done!

Fiber Arts, HMMM, maybe leave this to the amish.

Digital art.  The art of manipulation.  Its amazing when your computer makes art for you and you take the credit.  This is the ultimate manipulation.

I'm sure there are lots more-- but I'm to tired to care.


  1. I applaud you for being straight up and saying this out loud as it were.

  2. I agree with Matthew. Congrats on having the nerve to say much of this out loud. I've wondered the same thing about much "art" that I've seen now-a-days.

    Use to there had to be at least some talent for something to be considered art and now anything and everything is art for fear of offending or discriminating.

    I'm sorry but sometimes "art" isn't art. It's just plain crap.

  3. Are many of your "descriptions" correct? Absolutely, depending on the time, place & artist. But computer art never gets ANY respect. Try starting with a blank screen, then drawing and painting it using only your mouse. The "awkwardness" of drawing this way forces you to draw differently - similar to using your left hand when you're a "righty" - and the results can be very refreshing. The computer is not doing the creating for you. Try it yourself sometime.

  4. Hi Barbara

    I have done digital work-- and I know it does skill. The article is more just poking fun of it all.

  5. Watercolor...old people painting sailboats and lighthouses.

  6. stick figures seem to be popular with adults as well as 4 yr.olds also. I see that on some of the art network sites all to often. Your post was funny and sad but true.

  7. This is something my husband and I have said often, but only after one of my art events;) Its the hardest part of becoming an artist is finding out that all your hard work is dumb....just give the paint to my 4 year old and we would get more reactions. BLA!

    But in the end, its all been done before.

  8. Perhaps it would be better if you studied the art of writing and research because all and all most of your definitions are ignorant and petty. A truly creative artist will finds ways to use old and new materials. The exploration of techniques takes years to learn and find what's suitable for your style. I have pretty much used all mediums above discussed and I am neither a 4 year old or senior. To those ignorant of the real beauty of art is quite easy to determine what is quality and what is not. Art is a subjective entity that enlightens the lives of those who choose to appreciate it. You can take a condescending attitude of self righteousness, but I am guessing you're just a bitter artist, and for that I am truly sorry. There is art that is garbage and there is art that should be craft, but finding the differences and testing the boundaries is what makes art such an enigma. If you can't see it for what it is... Maybe you should find other interests like stamp collecting. And for those that say it's all been done before I find that impossible and close minded because I discover new techniques and mediums on a daily basis, but then again I'm actually an artist.

  9. Not bitter at all. Just poking some fun. As artists we can all grow by exploring new methods. On the same note we often encounter some very crappy things labeled as art.

  10. The post is funny and accurate to a degree. It is not at all condescending, it is not a personal attack on any one person, there is no bitterness in it, nor is it ignorant or petty. There are some crappy things labeled as art out there. Nevertheless, at the end, it's entirely subjective, isn't it. Again, well done!